Well my absence has not gone unnoticed. Nor the fact the my blog was completely down for about a week before I even realized. It is flattering in a way that you noticed I was gone. So thank you all! I noticed I was gone too, because I was not sitting in front of a computer for hours a day. I missed blogging a lot…at times. I have been flaky, I know. Call it what it is. What does all of this on again/off again mean? Well, I hope there is no question that I value my readership. I really value every single person that reads and interacts with me. You have watched me triumph, fail, do things I never though I could (and may not have been able to without your support), you have seen me be silly and light-hearted, be sad and whiny, admit things that took bravery and generally eat, workout and get dressed for over three years. We are pretty close because of it and for that I am going to tell you what’s up. Note: this is not an apology post. I am not sorry.
I believe in quality over quantity: I owe it to you to write quality content. I don’t want you here falling asleep while reading about my boring peanut butter on toast. My goal is always to write posts I would want to read, posts that deserve the time it will take you to read it. I know you are all busy and I know there are MILLIONS of blogs out there, a lot that are really good too. When I lose my mojo and my creativity, I would rather you spent the time reading those blogs. Ones that will provide you with more inspiration, information and entertainment that I can’t provide you with at that time. Because I think you are all awesome! I was
overworked not very creative this summer and rather than write you guys some crappy post about the importance of eating your veggies (which is of the utmost importance I believe), I decided to not write. You are worth way more to me than a bullsh*t post.
I worked A LOT this summer: I worked a VERY demanding full-time job, anyone who has ever worked with teens with Aspergers- you understand where I am coming from, and a very fast-paced and at times physically exhausting part-time job at a fantastic restaurant this summer. Both jobs I LOVED (note: I am still working at the part-time job). I had a blast. I worked long hours. I worked two VERY different jobs. I was pooped! A LOT! I had to practice self-care and you know: be human, get sleep, work out, see friends, hug my niece, chat with my parents and kiss my husband. Those “self-care” things had to fit into the tiny holes of time I had free and blogging had to take a back seat. I don’t regret it. But I did miss you all.
I wondered if I was documenting my life or living it: Ah yes! I’m bringing philosophy and psychology into this because I like to pretend I am an academic so you will think I am bright After three solid years of “journal blogging” my eats, moves and fabulous ensemble, I began to wonder whether I was living my life or just documenting it. Interesting question, huh? Taking a break from blogging gave me a lot of insight. At times blogging did not get in the way of me living my life. I had a great balance. At times I was simply documenting my life and felt like I was almost like a photographer or editor of my life and not even an active participant, let alone the leading lady. Takeing time away taught me how to create a balence and I now feel ready to come back and document LIVING!
This is not my job: I am not a full-time blogger, nor do I know I ever want it to be. I love blogging, because I love the friends I have made doing it, the creative outlet it provides, the readers I support and inspire, the readers whose support and inspiration has changed me for the better for the last 3 and a half years and because it is simply and fun time. But, it does not pay the bills, no sir. I do make an income from blogging, but it is not enough for Oscar to survive on for a month. (Well, maybe if he slimmed out his toy and treat budget. Homeboy needs to learn to cut some corners). I have a beautiful new home and it costs a good chunk of change. I had to work like a maniac this summer (and still did not come close to touching the level to which my maniac husband worked) to stay afloat and picking up extra shifts was more important than writing posts. I am a girl who has learned a lot about sacrificing to get ahead (or stay above water) these days. I am proud of myself for being about to give up things I love to better the life of my family (being just Adam and I for now) i.e. blogging, crossfit, manicures, new shoes, wine (total lie) and going out to dinner as much. She is growing up, kiddos!
There are my answers…I am sorry, but I am not sorry. I don’t need to be. I did what was best for both of us, you and I. And trust me, I still ate food, worked out and mamnged to get clothes on my body without telling you the boring details. I am sorry you missed some really good summer salads, workouts that made me wonder if I could survie the whole hour and really adorable outfits…that I am sorry for. But I am here. I am back on your internet, google reader, Facebook newsfeed, Twitter stream or email if you will have me. Will you take me back?