Hello and good afternoon! I hope everyone is doing well 
My day has flown by Around 10:30 I had an afternoon snack of a NuGo bar (HLS swag).
It tasted more like a candy bar than a nutrition bar. You know what it reminded me of? Remember Whatchamacallit’s?
It was just like that…I miss whatchamacallit’s, they were my favorite as a kid. 
I had lunch around 1:30 pm. I had some Gabanzo Bean Salad that I whipped up this morning with lettuce, a whole wheat pita and popchips.
Garbanzo Bean Salad:
- 1 can of garbanzo bean drained and rinsed
- 1/2 of a red bell pepper cut small
- 20 baby carrots cut small
- 1/3 of a large cucumber cut small
- 2 spoonfuls of non-fat plain greek yogurt
- dill (to taste)
- smoked paprika (to taste)
- the juice of 1/2 of a fresh lemon
It makes about two servings and is pretty tasty- perfect with pita bread!
I used my new bamboo utensil set from To-Go Ware that I got at the Whole Foods event last week.
It comes with a fork, spoon, knife and chop sticks.
And fits right in this small canvas pack.
It is perfect to keep in my desk drawer or for kids lunch boxes Thanks, Whole Foods and To-Go Ware!
Today I got to thinking about compliments. I am a huge giver of compliments. If someone is good at something, does a good job or is just plain awesome- I will be the first to tell them and really mean it. However, I have come to learn that I have the most difficult time accepting them! This scene played out today:
Friend: “I hear you were nominated for Boston’s Most Valuable Blogger! That is so awesome, Al! You are talented and have worked so hard, it is great that you are being recognized for it. You know you have my vote, girly!”
Me: ” Not sure how I managed to get nominated and then make it to the voting round. I think I just got lucky.”
As soon as the word left my mouth I immediately felt kind of sad and disappointed. When I recognized that feeling I thought “what is going on here with these feelings?” (that is the psychologist in me, I think). Then I realized I was sad and disappointed because I took myself, my talent and my hard work out of the equation and based everything on luck. It is much, much less exciting when it is just the luck of the draw than when I actually was a talented blogger that people saw as valuable. Deep deep down, I knew that it was my talent and hard work that got me recognized, but why did I feel the need to down play it?
My answer should have looked more like this: ” Thank you! I have worked really hard on my blog and it feels great to be recognized.”
Then after more thought I realized I have done this a NUMBER of times this week alone. Here are more examples:
Neighbor: ” Wow, Ali! You are in fantastic shape!”
Me: “Really?! I don’t know how! I skipped Crossfit twice in the last two weeks due to my injury and I ate about 1 million of the cookie bars I made the other night.”
Um….Why did I act shocked?! I AM in good shape! Oh, and I do know how…because I work my as* off!
My answer should have been more like this: ‘Thanks! That is nice of you to say!”
Here is an example from yesterday:
Fellow Female Crossfitter: ” I can’t believe you are training for a marathon! That seems so difficult, you are so brave. That’s really awesome”
Me: “Oh God, don’t compliment me yet. Trust me it will be an act of God if I finish”
I do have a very strong personal relationship with God. But not strong enough that He will run a marathon FOR me. I will do the training, I will get myself to that start line, I will push through all the mental and physical hurtles, I will complete it. It will be an act of Ali (with certainly some help from God) WHEN I finish.
My answer should have been more like this: “Thanks! It is brave for sure, I am nervous. But, I will train and perform the best I can. I am super excited to cross it off my bucket list! “
One more example from today:
Coworker: “Nice Outfit! I love that shirt!”
Me: “Really? This thing is so old I can’t even believe I still own it”
Fact: My outfit today is really cute!
My answer should have been more like this: ” Thanks, this is one of my favorite colors for the summer”
After going over these situation in my head, I realized the answer is actually really simple. Yup- I am going to pull the gender card- deal with it. Men are encouraged to be competitive, secure and a little full of themselves. As women, we learn that appearing confident can turn people off and make us seem “bitchy”, so we down play our strengths. We want to seem modest. We also use humor to take ownership off of ourselves (like me joking about it being an act of God for me to run a marathon). We think that if we joke about failing at something if we do fail, it won’t be looked down upon as much as if we were confident. We also want to appear like we aren’t putting too much work into ourselves (acting like I didn’t really put thought into what I had one today).
The thing is what I show the world in the way I respond to these complements is actually the opposite of what I think about myself. I actually do think I am deserving, capable, smart, well-dressed – and so on. It’s not that I lack the confidence it is that, I guess I don’t want to “seem” like I have too much. I don’t want other women thinking I am full of myself or “bitchy”. Isn’t it sad that confidence is seen as bitchy and that downplaying and self-deprecating is seen at likeable? Starting today, I am making it a point to stop downplaying myself, start taking complements with a ‘Thank You”…like me or not.
What are your thoughts? Are you good at taking compliments? How do you react? Do you think you could benefit from some changes?
Please vote for me for Boston’s Most Valuable Blogger. You don’t have to live in Boston to vote! To vote, click here!
Twitter
It’s great to recognize when you are being too self-deprecating. You have a lot to be proud of – own it! I’m totally voting for you now.
I know what you mean fellow Ali
it is not easy to accept compliments. But it is true you have a lot to be proud of!
The utensils are cute! I am voting for you now
i seriously just saw a whatchamacallit the other day !!
they also now have thingamajigs too — they are like whatchamacallits but with peanut butter!
A few things: I want that bamboo utensil set! I am psychotically voting every day on any computer I get my hands on! And I do the same thing with the compliments. I dont know how I manage to turn a compliment into self-doubt and negative talk but after reading this today i will accept compliments with a smile!!
I completely understand what you mean about accepting compliments! A friend of mine (male) will actually cut me off when I start to downplay or turn around a compliment and call me out for not just accepting it. It’s really helped! I’ve almost trained myself to just say “thank you”….if I go any further than that, odds are I’ll still somehow turn it around.
I love the to-go ware! That’s great!! I also voted for you, woop woop!
It can be tough to accept/take compliments. I think we all have to train ourselves on how to respond. The great thing is that you recognize it and it’s something you can grow it. You deserve the compliments though…. so allow yourself to be encouraged by them.
I do that all the time… every time someone says something nice..I give a quick some back as if I do not deserve it! (I am a work in progress)
Your utensils are super cute. I love wooden kitchen items.
P.S. You have been voted for
I do the EXACT same thing. I’m awful at receiving compliments. But I actively try to be better –your “what happened” vs “what should have” are spot on!
First off, just *seeing* the word “whatchamacallit” got that commercial stuck in my head
The funniest part? I don’t think I ever tried one of those!!!
Second, I’m kind of the same way with compliments, and I have to thank you for this post – it’s a great reminder to be gracious, say “thank you” while remembering that (you) I am doing something fabulous! AND that it’s great someone else is recognizing it!
ali! i was reading your post and gearing up to chime in about the gender issue until i got to the end and realized that you already got there! haha. i think this post is totally on point and i can definitely relate. like you, i have been working full time and going to school (in boston, woo!) for the last 3 years. i just finished grad school after spending the summer implementing a research project in central america, and every time someone compliments me or congratulates me, i’m all “oh gosh, don’t even know how they let me graduate, not sure how i did it, oh no big deal”…which is just like, no. i killed myself working for all of this, i should be reveling in it! it’s just such a reflex for so many of us women to be modest and demure or something. so thanks for the reminder to embrace the compliments and give ourselves credit!
I voted for you
I also want to make that garbanzo salad for lunches next week!!
What a great post on taking compliments, it made me realize that not enough times do I accept and acknowledge the compliments, but rather put myself down, or make a joke about myself…it is a great reflection for real!
I made your chickpea salad – it was delicious! It’s definitely going to become my go to simple lunch. Thanks for the idea!
http://sweetpastiche.blogspot.com/2011/09/chickpea-salad.html